above the clouds.

it feels like forever that i have sat down and wrote what i’m thinking. do you even remember me? haha!

so, hi! hello! my name is charlotte and i consistently start things and then take breaks from them - so, at least i am consistent with something, right? :)

for realsies though, i have been busy! being back at my regular job working at night has my brain all discombobulated - i am not a night owl. for the entirety of last week, i felt like i was hungover but i cannot tell you the last time i had alcohol - probably november, so not a crazy long time but it wasn’t last week, hah! but i had this constant headache which caused a lot of “brain fog” and loss of all motivation for everyday life. i felt like i was on autopilot - just going through the motions and not enjoying much.

this week, i am getting back to finding my thoughts and myself. i’ve made myself a priority and given my body and mind what it needs to clear up and prepare for the remainder of this crazy month (i love december though - it’s seriously the best!).

i wanted to give you a little glimpse into my “priori-me” list (just made that up… yes, it’s lame but i kind of love it):

roll out your mat. rolling out my mat is like building my own little temporary space for me, myself and i. even if i roll it out and just lay on it for 10 minutes with my eyes closed, i have accomplished what i had set to do.

get yourself to the gym. what is the hardest part about going to the gym? going to the gym, haha! it’s so easy to say that i will go to the gym and get dressed for it but getting myself there is a whole other story. i’ve learned to not overdo it, do it for me, and to just go! once i am there, the hardest part is over and i instantly feel more pumped and happy to get strong!

sudoku. yes, i am an old lady. i have a secret obsession with sudoku. i have a book of sudoku puzzles and i do at least 3 a day (#cantstopwontstop) and i also do the one in the free newsletters that you can get at tim hortons and other spots. they are a great way to get away from technology and give my mind a little workout!

read a chapter of current book. i recently finished a book by iain reid (a canadian author) called foe and it was excellent! i normally prefer non-fiction book but this book was fantastic and i never wanted to put it down - highly highly recommend it!

get outside. fresh air makes everyone happy.

play ukelele. this is a new thing that has been added to this list. if you didn’t know, i recently got a ukelele as an early christmas gift from my wonderful husband, and now i am obsessed! i am not good but learning a new instrument (i played clarinet and saxophone in middle school and high school) has been a blast!

write. this is something that i have slacked on but i think is one of the most crucial priorities for me. writing with a pen on paper is my preferred way to write but even just blogging or writing a caption on instagram sometimes does the trick. whenever my brain feels jumbled, getting my thoughts out in front of me helps to understand what the heck is going on inside my head.

listen to a podcast or blast music and dance. one of my favourites on this list! i am a huge fan of podcasts and will more than likely choose a podcast over music nowadays - unless i want to sing, then music will obviously win. my favourite podcasts to listen to are anything crime related - more specifically canadian crime. my most recent favourite podcasts are canadian true crime, thunder bay podcast , and dark poutine. give them a listen if you are into that kind of stuff!

and there you have it! that is a little taste of how i take care of me when i am feeling overwhelmed, unproductive, and just lost!

what are some things that you like to do to get the brain-juices flowing? (sorry if that sounded gross, haha!)

Who, what, where, when, why, and how?

I have many thoughts - most are not important or deep but I always wonder if anyone else thinks them. I cannot be the only one, right?

If you have thought of any of these or you have some weird/ funny thoughts/questions, let me know! I would love to know what other people are thinking.

Why do pimples exist? Other than to annoy the living heck out of me and make me insecure!

What arm rest is mine at the movies? And why do they make theatre rooms where the seats are so close to the screen? They could definitely add those two rows to the back of the farthest rows.

Adding to the movie thing: why don’t they have an option where you can watch an hour of previews?

Do I have to get a new driver’s license every time I change my hair colour?

Why does my pinky-toe look so weird?

Who made up words/ language? Also, why wouldn’t they just pick different words for “their”, “there” and “they’re”? And who made up apostrophes, commas, semicolons, etc.?

Why do buildings exclude the 13th floor? If you go from 12 to 14, isn’t 14 the new 13? (a question from a recent wedding where there was no table 13 which I also did not know was a thing).

Why are hockey nets so small but soccer nets so big?

Why does my cat stare at me for so long?

Why is it 7-years of bad luck if you break a mirror? Who makes these superstitions up?

Why did Geri (Ginger Spice) leave the Spice Girls? Did she really think she could do better on her own? Tsk tsk..

How is a 17 year old supposed to know what they want to do as a career/ choose colleges or universities to apply to when they can’t even vote or do a lot of things without the consent of their parent’s?

I saw this question once and it kind of made sense to me (it’s a weird one): why is 11 not pronounced “onety one”?

Why are there silent letters?

Why do I make a wish on an eyelash but not an eyebrow hair? Why do I make a wish on an eyelash…? Haha! I wish they wouldn’t fall out!

Why do older people tell me to smile? Like, who do they know that walks around smiling all the time? My face needs a rest or else I am going to look like a major creep!

I think I will stop here but I may do this again once I have more thoughts written down and if you like it! If not, I may do it anyway, haha!

fwfg.

you may be thinking, "that's a weird title... it's just random letters. is this girl okay?"

and to that i say, thank you for your concern but those are not just any random letters! they stand for "find what feels good" - a community (and feeling) that one of my favourite yoga instructors and biggest inspirations, Adriene Mishler (Yoga with Adriene), conjured up!

i started following along with Adriene's youtube videos about 4 years ago (holy cow!) and i fell in LOVE with yoga instantly! after about a year of doing it off and on (i am the worst at consistency), i felt like i may have found a new dream/ goal of mine - to become a yoga instructor! 

well, as you can plainly see, it is three years later and i am not a yoga instructor. i stopped getting on my mat, taking time to connect with my body, and getting to know myself. i cannot tell why this happened because there are "so many" excuses, but the only excuse that is true is that there is no excuse.

i stopped making it a priority and i just gave up. i gave up because i saw how difficult becoming an instructor is. it takes so much time and dedication. i was scared. scared of failing... scared of disappointing people if i didn't do well. but in the end, the only person i disappointed was myself for not trying.

so, i am making a promise to myself to try! i am going to try my best to get back on my mat, find what feels good, and take the proper steps toward conquering a 3 year old goal!! 

what is a goal or dream of yours that you put on the back-burner? is there something that you have always wanted to do or try that you thought you could never do or just never made the time to do it? 

 

also, if you are interested, i have made a fitness/lifestyle/mini-blog instagram - @charlottebuckleup - where i  document my fitness progress, my thoughts, my bad days and good, and just all the nitty-grittiness! 

ride the wave.

"human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they're finished. the person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and temporary as al the people you've ever been. the one constant in our lives is change." - daniel gilbert

i am one of those people who constantly tries to figure out who she is. it's honestly annoying.

this quote sort of snapped me out of those thoughts the other day and reminded me that i am never the same person as i was 5 minutes ago. i am constantly growing (not literally..), learning, obtaining, observing, listening, discovering. i am constantly changing. 

and though this constant change brings many obstacles and annoyances (i just want to know who i am!), i want to learn to love it, to embrace it, and strive in the change. 

we are all going through this as i write this and as you read (if you are still reading, you are a real champ!). it's a struggle somedays, looking in the mirror, seeing the impurities, listening to my thoughts - "who are you? what do you bring to the world? what are you doing with your life? why are you so shy?". the most important question i ask myself, "who do you want to be?". i need to stop focusing on who i am in this moment, because she is already gone by the next moment. 

and that is what i want to work on amongst this constant change happening. i want to ride this wave of change and see where it will take me! 

first stop: Nova Scotia next week! bring on the new memories, the ocean air (waves!... ocean!), and some quality time with family, friends, and my other half! :)

 

dress/skort/dort(?) haha!: Winners.

5 years your wife - in it for life.

I tried to think of something mushy and romantic to say about how much I love my husband. But when I start to think about how much I love him, I cry. 

My love for Mark is so strong that my body cannot contain it and starts to leak. The happiness that he brings into my life makes my heart beat so fast that I start to lose my breath and I feel like i've just run a 5k. 

He is just the greatest gift in mi lode... seriously eyes, you can stop crying now... my life. There we go!

We have come so far for being extremely immature adults who still cycle through watching Family Guy, American Dad, Archer, and Bob's Burgers when we go to bed. From the start of our marriage in Newfoundland, then to Nova Scotia, then to Ontario, then to Manitoba, and back to Ontario, adding three dogs and a cat to the mix, and buying our first house, I think we have come a long way. 

No, our marriage isn't all gumdrops and lollipops - or whatever the kids are saying these days. We bicker... and it's almost always my fault, haha! I am stubborn, but so is he. But we get through it. We listen to each other. We talk it out.

And, most importantly, we learn... that I am always right.

Just kidding (sort of)!

But in all seriousness, I love this man! He deals with my extreme emotions (did I mention I cry?) and my bossiness when it comes to taking photos of me (that I force.. I mean kindly ask him to take). He is not only fearless to be doing the job that he does, but he is also fearless for being with a wack-a-doo like me. And I will never be able to express how much I appreciate and love him for that and everything that he does for me. 

I love you, Marky Mark, Bay, stink-butt, Dah, Ding-dong, and all the other names that we come up with and will come up with - we are pretty much making up our own language.

 Happy Anniversary, Mark. <3

PS. Yes, I did make him go out and take photos with me a few days ago. He is away for our anniversary so I guilted him into this "anniversary session" that I set-up and "shot" myself (you can see Mark and I using the new remote I got in some shots, haha!). 

lilac lovin'.

I looooooove lilacs! 

They smell amazing, they look amazing; they are just amazing!

So, when I heard that there was a Lilac Festival in Warkworth (just Northwest of Belleville, ON), I knew I had to check it out!

We didn't get to the festival until very close to the end of the first day - vendors were packing up -, but we were able to take a nice leisurely walk alongside the most beautiful creek that was surrounded by lush green grass, hills of trees, and some lilac bushes!

This was our first visit to Warkworth and it was an extremely short one (due to the thunderstorm that we just missed!) but I know that we will be visiting again very soon and a lot more often! Seriously, the cutest little town in a sort of valley of trees! I am in love!

And obviously I had to get some photos of myself, haha! I am the type of person who when she hears the plan, she thinks to herself, "will there be photo opportunities?" and then proceeds to get herself somewhat presentable. 

I swear I am not high-maintenance (says every person is probably high-maintenance)! I just like to feel confident! And my husband won't let me take nice photos of him, so someone needs to step up to the plate, right?! Haha!

My super cute jumpsuit (I am SO in love with red!) is from Garage Clothing :)

Question: What is your favourite flower? Mine is a toss-up between Lilacs and Peonies! Oh! And I love love LOVE Ranunculus! Ugh! They are all so beautiful! 

cheap dress and hairy legs.

Probably my favourite title for a post thus far! Hah!

I luuuurrrrrrvve a good deal - says every normal person. Seriously, who doesn't like paying less for something? If you don't, why? Haha!

I digress.

Whenever I am feeling like I need (want) to add something fresh to my wardrobe, I hit the one place that maybe a lot of people don't think about. No, not Value Village - that's my spot for random household knick-knacks. And no, not any other thrift store you are thinking of. I go to.... Winners! Yay! We did it!

Yes, Winners always has what I don't need and everything that I want or didn't know that I wanted. I get a lot of my 'filler' pieces and active wear at Winners. This dress? Winners!! How much you may be asking? $25.00. Yup! And it made me feel like a moody chick meets dark Little House on the Prairie. I never buy dresses this long - I have a strictly 'above the knees to make myself appear taller' policy when it comes to dresses - but this dress broke that policy! Now, I have a new love for long dresses and their ability to hide my pasty and probably unshaven legs in the Summer! (that was a nice way of saying 'hairy', just so you know).

Okay, I think that I am done with this very rambly and odd conversation about a cheap dress and my hairy legs.

If you gather anything from this post, it should be to check out Winners! They are constantly adding different pieces and allow you to freshen up your wardrobe without breaking the bank!

And no, this is not sponsored. I freaken' wish!

you'll want a second.

I don't know why, but I always feel obligated to write something on these posts. 

Like, how many times can I say I am weird before it becomes weird how many times i've said it? Wait... does that makes sense? 

But for this post, I want to leave you with a question (or a few - I have a feeling after I write this sentence, I will think of more questions).

What is your favourite dessert?

Mine is a tie between homemade apple/blueberry/cherry pie and glazed donuts (yes, I cheated with the pies. I couldn't choose between and I love them all, so I had to include each kind).

Also (see! another question has formed, haha!), does anyone else think to themselves 'after you have one dessertyou'll want a second' when they are spelling dessert? No? It's just me? Okay. Haha!

 

Outfit: Bottoms - American Eagle + Top - Garage Clothing

will you remember me?

I go through really weird funks where I just look in the mirror and make the "gross, what's that smell"** face at my own reflection. I point out all of my flaws - crooked nose, pimples, acne scarring, uneven skin tone... the list goes on, people!

But recently (like yesterday), I had a few thoughts come to mind: Are people actually looking at my "flaws"? Is that how people will remember me?

I want to be remembered for my sense of humour - for my terrible jokes and ability to lift spirits. I want to be the ‘positive paddy’ in the room, whipping out my sarcastic jokes accompanied by a weird scrunched face or silly voice to make the joke actually funny - I really feel my facial expressions and weird voices are the gateway to my comedy career. 

Those are the things that people are going to remember me by. Not my appearance (well, maybe the short and blonde things). 

I know this is a somewhat “morbid”(?) topic to talk about but it was an eye-opener for me. It reminded me of who I want to be as a person now, today. If you take anything from the rambling above, please let it be that people love you for you, not who see in the mirror (and make a stinky face at).

Finally, with these thoughts going through my mind, I found it time to have a mini photoshoot where I wear cute things and have a public dance party! That always makes me feel more confident and brings me back to loving who I am - you should give it a try! 

 

**I know that 'smell' has nothing to do with my reflection but I feel it gives you a better visualization of the face that I make.