trip down memory lane.

just a little warning: this post contains a lot of christmas memories and things that may only mean something to me -i just felt the need to get it out there. if you are not into reading about people’s live’s, please come back soon for a future post! :)

i also wanted to take a moment to remember all of my loved ones who are no longer around celebrate this time of year with their family. christmas for me has always been about traditions - but over time, i have lost them. this has been due to marriage which comes with a new family and new traditions, my parent’s separation, and of course, the loss of loved ones. this post is a way for me to bring my childhood and my loved back to life for a moment. you may not see the tears, but they are falling and the nose is definitely running.

in the spirit of the season and reminiscing, i wanted to share some of the traditions/ memories that i will i always cherish!

1. going out into the woods by our house with my dad and one or both of my brothers and cutting down a pretty ugly tree (my dad didn’t have the best taste).

2. fighting over who’s turn it was to put the angel on top of the tree with my brothers - which, by the way, that thing was treated like it was this amazing and delicate piece of art with it’s own box and tissue paper but it was plastic and looked so worn out but nevertheless, we fought over it.

3. going along with the tree, it would always be my brothers, my dad and i who would decorate the tree. our tree would always be covered in silver tinsel, homemade ornaments dating back to the late 80’s, and then just a bunch of random ornaments that we would receive as gifts or just liked. there was no colour scheme or theme which i kind of like better than the “perfect looking” christmas tree, if i’m being honest (no offence to the people who have perfect beautiful trees!).

4. christmas eve - my favourite day of the whole year! this was the day that, annie, my best friend in the entire world, and her family would come for christmas eve supper and we would eat, exchange gifts, and just spend an evening all together. fun fact: my mom and annie’s mom, pam, are best friends and that is how we met - annie was there the day i was born (that is 27 years of best friendery - that is now a word if it wasn’t already!) and the rest is history!

5. on christmas eve, most years, channel 37 (back in the day, haha!) would run the movie a christmas story for 24 hours. this, my friends, is my absolute favourite christmas movie! so, i would turn the tiny tv i had in my room to channel 37 and watch that movie at least 3 times, falling in and out of sleep. this tradition is still going strong but i bought the movie, haha!

6. christmas day would start off early, like crazy early. my oldest brother was notorious for waking up around 4am or even earlier some years, and he would come wake my other brother and i. we would walk out to see that our tree was hidden by a wall of presents - we were definitely spoiled children that didn’t realize it. we were not allowed to wake our parent’s that early, nor would we ever dare wake my mother up that early - she was like a sleeping dragon, and you never wake a sleeping dragon! so, while we waited for a reasonable time to wake them up (between 6am and 7am…) we would open our stockings.

7. after early morning presents - we would normally be done by 8am… - most of us would nap while mom and dad would slave away getting food ready for the woodworth’s annual christmas potluck lunch (it wasn’t officially called that but that’s what it was, haha). luckily for my family, we lived next-door to my grandparents! we always ate well there, it was always warm in their house and they had a big screen tv (like the chunky ones that first came out)! i loved my grandparent’s house - i would crawl under the table to get to the other side and always sit next to my poppy. whatever i didn’t finish, he would pick up and put on his plate. we were a pretty good team. my grammy, who was a beautiful and kind little lady (she was shorter than i am) who always wore dresses and made sure that her family was fed before she would sit in her little rocking chair on the other side of my poppy and eat her food. side note: we would have lunch at my grandparent’s house every sunday and it was the best thing ever!

8. boxing day in the east is treated like an actual holiday where most people do not work (not like here in onterrible… i mean, ontario, haha!) so we would hit the highway to the city (halifax area) most years and have boxing day supper with my mom’s side of the family. my nan, who i am named after, was a strict lady but she always treated me like a princess. she was a bit scary - my brother’s and i would say that she kind of looked and acted like ursula from little mermaid, but she was much more beautiful! she had a presence and i am lucky that my mom, who i used to scared of (refer to memory #5) is a lot like her mother. so, even though my nan is no longer here, i still have a little bit of her in living form through my mom!

i am sorry if this post seemed pointless, but every year, i think back to these memories that i have and hold so dearly in my heart and think of how many of these traditions will never happen again. but that is why traditions are also great - when some have to end, new ones can be made with new family and friends. traditions are what make christmas so special for me - it’s not the gifts or the giving (i LOVE giving gifts but that’s not my favourite part. please don’t hurt me!), it’s the old and new traditions that my husband, my family and his, and my friends have. this time of year for me is about loving who i have in my life and who i have lost. it’s about family and community.

i would love to know what your favourite tradition is or was! have you made any new ones? please share because i love hearing what other’s do around this time of year! :)

happy christmas, merry holidays, and happy december everyone! i hope that you are all making the most out of what time we have left of 2018 and be sure to hug or call your loved ones!

and remember, you do not know what others are going through, especially at this time of year, so please be kind to one another. <3




above the clouds.

it feels like forever that i have sat down and wrote what i’m thinking. do you even remember me? haha!

so, hi! hello! my name is charlotte and i consistently start things and then take breaks from them - so, at least i am consistent with something, right? :)

for realsies though, i have been busy! being back at my regular job working at night has my brain all discombobulated - i am not a night owl. for the entirety of last week, i felt like i was hungover but i cannot tell you the last time i had alcohol - probably november, so not a crazy long time but it wasn’t last week, hah! but i had this constant headache which caused a lot of “brain fog” and loss of all motivation for everyday life. i felt like i was on autopilot - just going through the motions and not enjoying much.

this week, i am getting back to finding my thoughts and myself. i’ve made myself a priority and given my body and mind what it needs to clear up and prepare for the remainder of this crazy month (i love december though - it’s seriously the best!).

i wanted to give you a little glimpse into my “priori-me” list (just made that up… yes, it’s lame but i kind of love it):

roll out your mat. rolling out my mat is like building my own little temporary space for me, myself and i. even if i roll it out and just lay on it for 10 minutes with my eyes closed, i have accomplished what i had set to do.

get yourself to the gym. what is the hardest part about going to the gym? going to the gym, haha! it’s so easy to say that i will go to the gym and get dressed for it but getting myself there is a whole other story. i’ve learned to not overdo it, do it for me, and to just go! once i am there, the hardest part is over and i instantly feel more pumped and happy to get strong!

sudoku. yes, i am an old lady. i have a secret obsession with sudoku. i have a book of sudoku puzzles and i do at least 3 a day (#cantstopwontstop) and i also do the one in the free newsletters that you can get at tim hortons and other spots. they are a great way to get away from technology and give my mind a little workout!

read a chapter of current book. i recently finished a book by iain reid (a canadian author) called foe and it was excellent! i normally prefer non-fiction book but this book was fantastic and i never wanted to put it down - highly highly recommend it!

get outside. fresh air makes everyone happy.

play ukelele. this is a new thing that has been added to this list. if you didn’t know, i recently got a ukelele as an early christmas gift from my wonderful husband, and now i am obsessed! i am not good but learning a new instrument (i played clarinet and saxophone in middle school and high school) has been a blast!

write. this is something that i have slacked on but i think is one of the most crucial priorities for me. writing with a pen on paper is my preferred way to write but even just blogging or writing a caption on instagram sometimes does the trick. whenever my brain feels jumbled, getting my thoughts out in front of me helps to understand what the heck is going on inside my head.

listen to a podcast or blast music and dance. one of my favourites on this list! i am a huge fan of podcasts and will more than likely choose a podcast over music nowadays - unless i want to sing, then music will obviously win. my favourite podcasts to listen to are anything crime related - more specifically canadian crime. my most recent favourite podcasts are canadian true crime, thunder bay podcast , and dark poutine. give them a listen if you are into that kind of stuff!

and there you have it! that is a little taste of how i take care of me when i am feeling overwhelmed, unproductive, and just lost!

what are some things that you like to do to get the brain-juices flowing? (sorry if that sounded gross, haha!)

fwfg.

you may be thinking, "that's a weird title... it's just random letters. is this girl okay?"

and to that i say, thank you for your concern but those are not just any random letters! they stand for "find what feels good" - a community (and feeling) that one of my favourite yoga instructors and biggest inspirations, Adriene Mishler (Yoga with Adriene), conjured up!

i started following along with Adriene's youtube videos about 4 years ago (holy cow!) and i fell in LOVE with yoga instantly! after about a year of doing it off and on (i am the worst at consistency), i felt like i may have found a new dream/ goal of mine - to become a yoga instructor! 

well, as you can plainly see, it is three years later and i am not a yoga instructor. i stopped getting on my mat, taking time to connect with my body, and getting to know myself. i cannot tell why this happened because there are "so many" excuses, but the only excuse that is true is that there is no excuse.

i stopped making it a priority and i just gave up. i gave up because i saw how difficult becoming an instructor is. it takes so much time and dedication. i was scared. scared of failing... scared of disappointing people if i didn't do well. but in the end, the only person i disappointed was myself for not trying.

so, i am making a promise to myself to try! i am going to try my best to get back on my mat, find what feels good, and take the proper steps toward conquering a 3 year old goal!! 

what is a goal or dream of yours that you put on the back-burner? is there something that you have always wanted to do or try that you thought you could never do or just never made the time to do it? 

 

also, if you are interested, i have made a fitness/lifestyle/mini-blog instagram - @charlottebuckleup - where i  document my fitness progress, my thoughts, my bad days and good, and just all the nitty-grittiness! 

will you remember me?

I go through really weird funks where I just look in the mirror and make the "gross, what's that smell"** face at my own reflection. I point out all of my flaws - crooked nose, pimples, acne scarring, uneven skin tone... the list goes on, people!

But recently (like yesterday), I had a few thoughts come to mind: Are people actually looking at my "flaws"? Is that how people will remember me?

I want to be remembered for my sense of humour - for my terrible jokes and ability to lift spirits. I want to be the ‘positive paddy’ in the room, whipping out my sarcastic jokes accompanied by a weird scrunched face or silly voice to make the joke actually funny - I really feel my facial expressions and weird voices are the gateway to my comedy career. 

Those are the things that people are going to remember me by. Not my appearance (well, maybe the short and blonde things). 

I know this is a somewhat “morbid”(?) topic to talk about but it was an eye-opener for me. It reminded me of who I want to be as a person now, today. If you take anything from the rambling above, please let it be that people love you for you, not who see in the mirror (and make a stinky face at).

Finally, with these thoughts going through my mind, I found it time to have a mini photoshoot where I wear cute things and have a public dance party! That always makes me feel more confident and brings me back to loving who I am - you should give it a try! 

 

**I know that 'smell' has nothing to do with my reflection but I feel it gives you a better visualization of the face that I make.

oh, i wanna dance with somebody.

Can't stop, won't stop with the lame lyric titles - or pointing them out!

In a post I shared recently (check it out!) I touched on the topic of my weirdness. Well, this is just a taste of how weird I can get in public places - there were three teenage boys being suspicious in the woods just behind us. 

I am the type of person who shuts down when speaking is involved but if there is music - or in this case, an open field - I can get real weird. And I don't just do it because I feel like. I do it because I want to make someone who feels more awkward than me, less awkward. Does that make sense? For this particular instance, Mark was feeling awkward taking photos in front of the aforementioned teenage boys, so I brought out my sweet dance moves. Did it help him forget the suspicious boys in the woods? Why yes, ma'am, it did. And it put a smile on his face which means I am doing a good job at being his wife! Right? haha!

So, I guess the lesson is this: if you are feeling awkward, be awkward. Making people laugh with minimal talking is, I suppose, somewhat of a talent that I am proud of. 

And the second lesson is: dance like no one is watching when in fact, they are staring at you!

Two questions: What is one special talent you have? And what do you do to get out of or end an awkward situation?

Outfit details: 

  • Shirt: Winners.
  • Pants: American Eagle - side-note: these hi-rise jeggings are SO comfy and stretchy and I love them! 
  • Shoes: Blunstones